Decoding reality is mostly fun, and when we have resources to work with the Underworld materiel encoded in the waking dream even poison can be medicine. When we are unresourceful decoding can be excruciating, we see how the pieces fit together yet it feels like we are coming apart in a psychic dismemberment. This is the hardest part of Shadow Stalking, and shadow integration, and the part of the dark night of the soul that makes that long night or week or month or pandemic, feel hellish. When we are sick or injured we may automatically have less resources. When we are under stress we are often less resourceful. The old way was to seek comfort, to escape the pain or ripping sensation of the known world falling apart. The old way was to avoid remaining conscious while limbs are separated from the trunk and the wood is burned in the campfire. We didn’t have any other way than to go unconscious, to forget the dismemberment. When the old way is outdated the soul remains alert, the once sleepy morphine drip transforms into self love and self awareness throughout the process. We learn instead to sense inwardly for nuances of movement and guidance from the part of us always connected to source. Part of the dismemberment process is extraction of the false self, or the sheath of the facade, the pretending that no longer serves soul evolution. We can feel weak when the false self is extracted but this purification process, the burning of the old layers of dead pretending reveals the current self, and new sensitive realness. The passage and extraction requires some faith to go through the fire. It’s a spiritual fire, it reveals truth as it burns the old coping strategies and so it is good. Trust that your charred remains will regenerate. Painting Margaret Curtis, Trial by Fire.